Try Wait ~ ~I am Not a Number!

Try Wait

Just as we have been approaching the finish line of my treatment marathon out of the blue a rogue wave of new information hit us and sent us off on a new course.  The final results of the pathology report came back with evidence that my original endometrial cancer had in fact migrated to my lung. From the beginning my team had deliberated over the pathology findings. So much of it had pointed to classic lung cancer but something was just ‘off’. The mystery was solved by the diligent and thorough Stanford pathology department. I may not like the results but I applaud such a meticulous research team. 

I'm Not a Number

This changed my diagnosis from stage 3 lung cancer to stage 4 metastatic endometrial cancer. Gasp. Janet and I both felt crushed by this news. We’ve surfaced for air now after about a week or so of emotional shock and trauma.  I’ll say that one silver lining is that I feel physically very strong which helps me compartmentalize this information so that I can absorb it a sip at a time. I'm just not willing to be defined by a number. I am the same person that I have always been and I also have cancer, so be it.  I will continue to identify with strength and love as my guiding star, not by any arbitrary diagnosis or number. This doesn't mean that it doesn't give me nightmares at times but my ability to refocus my attention is my strongest ally. 

The Other Silver Lining

The other silver lining is that this new diagnosis wasn't discovered before I had completed my current treatment for lung cancer. Why does this matter?...Apparently the ‘standard of care’ (aka: what insurance covers) for stage 3 lung cancer is to go all out with an aggressive treatment plan because there is a possibility of cure. Aggressive treatment means radiation, chemotherapy and 1 year of immunotherapy. The line however is drawn between stage 3 and 4.  In stage 4 ‘standard of care’ is not as aggressive since the goal is maintenance and not a cure. Not as aggressive treatment means chemotherapy alone with no radiation or immunotherapy.

Listen carefully, wording and numbers = coding in our dollar centric medical/insurance system. Lucky for me the timing worked in my favor and I got the aggressive treatment plan.  Subsequent discussion with our radiologist revealed that trials are indicating that the aggressive approach for stage 4 is proving to be beneficial with better patient outcomes. This means that hopefully in the near future the ‘standard of care’ for stage 4 may change.

 
New Plan

Now what? My team of doctors which now includes a Gyn Oncologist are designing a new treatment plan. Their current thoughts are to add 3 to 4 additional rounds of chemo which more specifically target the endometrial cells plus the year of immunotherapy.  They are a remarkable team and I am eternally grateful to them.

Gratitude

Janet and I are both overwhelmed with the continuing love and support from each one of you, known and unknown. All of your hearts have melded into ours and we are confident that the strength of our combined ‘heart medicine’ is dissolving this cancer. 

Our 1000 piece Pink Cap Swimmers are finally united again! Now we just need to...‘add water’!

     

Cynthia and Lee have wrapped us in an Ocean of Love with this beautiful original quilt made by Cynthia.

 

  

Our new friends ~ 5^Th graders from Charleston Day School

Perfectly timed on one of our darkest days we received an envelope from South Carolina. Out poured multiple colorful handmade cards.  A note from Eric, Janet’s hanai nephew and a dear friend read “I recruited my 5^th graders to put together a good vibe package for you. I told them about you and set them loose.”    

 

It’s clear, all of your support is easing our path forward with strength and love.  We feel so blessed, Mahalo Nui Loa.