Relationships

From the second I walked out of the airport I felt as if I had walked into a 1950’s foreign film complete with heavy fog (aka pollution) old cars, men in turbans, beggars with missing or twisted body parts, cows, shit, and trash everywhere. The intensity of the noise was, and still is unbelievable; a never ending cacophony of horns from every bus, car, tuk-tuk motorcycle and bicycle mixed with blaring music and people yelling. The smell of diesel fumes, burning cow dung, toxic chemicals, swirling dust, shit and urine completes the chaotic picture.




The entire trip has been a mixture of great fascination and fatigue। There is so much of everything that it’s a challenge to just walk down the street, literally। There are very few sidewalks here so we walk in the street forced in to a never ending game of chicken with all the insane drivers who pay no attention to lane lines let alone pedestrians. Size counts on India streets and pedestrians are but a small blip on the size chart.

Everywhere I turn someone is trying desperately to sell me something. “Madame, Madame, come look. Looking is free Madame. Special price for you Madame”. I hear this over and over non stop all day as we pass any shop, cart and blanket on the ground. The tuk-tuk drivers and touts are equally as determined to get our business. “Only 10 rupees for city tour” but the tour is a tour of the same shops we pass as we walk through any town. The beggars take a more direct approach latching on to my arm and making gestures of eating to let me know they are hungry. At first I found it heart wrenching but when I saw that it was a business like all the rest my feeling faded.

There are many things I don’t understand here but shitting in public tops the list। It’s bad enough to have to dodge the cow, goat and pig shit but there is human shit everywhere. People shit on the road, on the railway platform, in any corner and on any ledge or flat space available. Some shit facing the road so they can wave as people pass by, some shit with friends, while others shit alone with their back turned to create some semblance of privacy. We were at an open air restaurant eating one afternoon when a man took a shit across the narrow dirt road directly in front of the restaurant. Not only did he shit in front of everyone, he then walked into the restaurant and ate with his family. I just don’t get it.

One thing I do understand is that the connections I have made with people here make all the noise, smells, shit, filth, hard beds and hard sell worth it। Recently we have been staying at a home-stay where the only daughter is getting married in a few days. Pragya has freely shared with us her excitement and fear about her upcoming marriage to a man she has met only five time and never alone. Last night her family celebrated at her fiancés house while Pragya stays home because it is improper for her to socialize with her fiancé before they are married. Today Prayga’s hands and feet were decorated with henna for ‘women dancing’ party night and the wedding party tomorrow night. We have been invited to both celebrations but we are leaving the day of her wedding. Tonight we will don our Punjabis, eat authentic India food and celebrate with 1000 of her closest friends. What a gift.