I’m glad to say I’m feeling 100% better today, not to be confused with feeling 100% but at least things are going in the right direction. The surgery was a breeze (thanks to anesthesia) but the recovery has been tough. At first I was told that the swelling would peak at three days and my gums would be back to normal on day five. No problem I can handle that! Well, on day five when the pain and swelling was still on the increase I got the real story. I should expect the pain and swelling to build over the first week and then gradually decrease over the next two to four weeks.What is it about doctors giving patients half truths or no truth at all. I saw this happen to my mother in surgery after surgery as she aged and now it’s happening to me. I just don’t get it; do doctors really believe that the patient won’t find out what happens after surgery? Do they truly believe that discussing only the best post surgery scenario is better than covering the full range of possibilities? Is this a universal belief among doctors? So far I have found this to be true in the US as well as in Thailand. I’m hoping to find another belief in India.
I have discovered that healing is not just about managing the pain and swelling but also about coming to terms with my own aging. It’s been hard to look in the mirror and see a woman with sunken lips and no teeth looking back at me and it’s been even harder to be kind to her. I know this time will pass, my energy will return, I’ll have teeth again and I’ll be ready for what comes. But for right now I think I’ll take the time to make friends with this toothless woman and see what she can teach me.
From my experience in 12 step programs I have learned that honest sharing of what I am going through helps others in ways I can't even imagine.
ReplyDeleteYour post today has helped me.
Mahalo nui loa
I suspect doctors are ridiculously optimistic and are driven to please just like the rest of us. When I had my brain surgery I found that I simply had to ask what was the longest I could expect the recovery to take (they told me 6 months) and so when it only took a month I was elated. As for growing old. I have the very same feelings looking in the mirror. When I start to see my body as the enemy it's very hard to treat it with the gentleness, kindness and respect that I should. Thanks for sharing. I miss you both so much.
ReplyDelete